Michael and I have many hopes and dreams for our kids. We want to create a path for them that helps them open whatever doors they want to open. We want them to be respectful, thoughtful, tolerant, compassionate, hard-working and most of all happy.
If we want them to be all of those things, then we need to model those qualities. Kids are observant. They look to others when figuring out how to act and what to do. Adults do too.
If we tell the boys that they need to limit screen time, but we say that as we are scrolling through Facebook, what message does that send?
If we tell them that they have to read 30 minutes a day, but they never see us open a book or sit with our kindle, then why should they have to do it?
If we tell them not to eat too much junk food or drink too much soda, but they see us eating sweets and drinking soda, will they take our advice to heart?
We get frustrated sometimes when the kids are not doing what we want them to do, but many times that is because we are not modeling the behavior that we want to see from them. We do not sit and explain to them why we are asking them to do that thing.
Lucas and Henry are more agreeable to listening or trying something new when they understand why they are doing it, or if it is something that Michael and I already do. It is easy to say, but harder to do. It is something we have to constantly remind ourselves of.
Here are some ways we are trying to be better about modeling:
- We let them know when we are working out and ask if they want to join. We also do family activities like tennis, frisbee, and walks or hikes. Showing them how important physical fitness is to us will help them make it an important part of their life too.
- We read books with the kids and we also talk to them about what we are reading. I love to read and it has to do with my mother always reading books. Since we have been worldschooling the kids read every day. Henry loves to read and now Lucas likes to read. We call that a win.
- I love to play word games. I do the New York Times crossword puzzle and spelling bee with my dad and sister almost every day. Michael gets mildly annoyed, but it is what we love to do. I tell the boys that grandpa and I are ‘cracking codes’. They have become interested and they join in to try to solve the puzzles.
- We support each other when we are working. We talk to the boys about the importance of working hard. They know that both Michael and I need to work. When one of us has a project the other one spends time with the boys. We believe it is important that the boys see us working and know why we do it.
We are more cognizant of this now because we spend more time with Lucas and Henry than we did before. Coming to this realization has been good for Michael and me as well. It makes us think about our actions and habits. It gets us up off the couch, off of our phones, and engaging more with the boys and taking better care of ourselves.
